I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My dick has a subreddit
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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