Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
