Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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