okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
