I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize