Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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