Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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