he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's shark week go big or go home
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
