Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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