am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she looked like the before picture.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
