brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
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