I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
