Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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