Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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