You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
