My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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