yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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