you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
