I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
