grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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