he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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