and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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