so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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