You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
