WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
