So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
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I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize