im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
