I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
