they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
