i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
