I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i drank out of a bidet.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins