I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.