Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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