babies were throwing up all over the place
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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