we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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