You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
