From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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