You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
