so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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