Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
one might say we're banned from that church
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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