I just made out with a guy for $7.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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