She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
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