don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize