Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
