I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
