I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So. Much. Porn.
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