he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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