i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life