question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.