Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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