just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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