dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
