Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
