Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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