I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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