Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
