why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i came on her dog
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
