I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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