the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
