dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
