Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How external is "for external use only"?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
