Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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