My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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