Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize