lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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