i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
