Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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