soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
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