Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
