i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
